Phineas and Ferb Wiki:Chat behavior and guidelines/advice
Okay, you got kicked out of the Chat. You're upset. You think the other person was wrong or it's unjustified or it was a misunderstanding or you made a mistake. You want this fixed right now so you can get back into the Chat. Well, that may be exactly the wrong thing to do. Here's an example of something that happened to me (RRabbit42) in January 2012. Take a moment to read it, then see what could have been done differently and some ideas about how to go from here. Note: There is no need to comment on this situation. I have decided to let the matter stay as it is so that it can be a learning experience for myself and everyone else. The situation While looking at another wiki, I noticed one of their pages was hard to read. I left a message for an admin asking if it was supposed to look like that and offering an idea on how to improve it if it wasn't. Two other admins replied and said they weren't sure if it could be done. I replied back with a couple of simple ideas to try. This is where it went wrong. The second admin had also said they really didn't have time to try it so it was easier to keep it like it is. It didn't seem like this would take much effort to try this, but when I followed up with the two ideas, that admin didn't appreciate it. However, instead of calmly repeating that they didn't want or need these ideas so that I would more clearly understand not to discuss it any further, she got upset and made it personal. Since this appeared to be a misunderstanding and because I didn't appreciate the personal remarks, I left a message for her. I took my time and thought out my response so that the admin would know that the situation wasn't as she thought it was. The admin immediately erased my message without saying why, then left me another message to stop bothering them about this. This left me even more confused. I wasn't doing what she said I was and I had let her know it wasn't the case. Why was this admin reacting this way? Did she read what I said? I saw the admin was in the Chat, so I tried talking to her there. Unfortunately, I kind of barged in there. Instead of asking to talk with her to figure this out, what I first said was really an accusation. Again, I tried to explain I wasn't doing what she said I was, but the damage had been done. She wasn't listening to me any more and when I realized that, I told her she might as well block me. She did so. I am blocked on that wiki for a year. Now that some time has passed, I have figured out by what she said in Chat that she was having a bad day when this happened. A well-intentioned idea became an unwanted intrusion, the situation got blown out of proportion by actions on both sides and my own need to get this resolved immediately backfired. All of this happened in less than an hour. Doing things differently So now you see what happened to me. How do we go about getting you back into the Chat? * Wait. First and foremost, wait. A lot of times it's going to be better if you wait a day or two before you try to resolve the situation. Emotions may have been running high on one or both sides, so give it time for the situation to cool off before you go back to it. At the very least, use the opportunity to get up from the computer and take a break. * Review what happened. Think back to what happened. Were you deliberately causing problems? Were people asking you to stop what you were doing? Was it a misunderstanding or maybe someone was having a bad day? * Be polite and respectful. When you ask to be let back in, a chatmod or an admin who might not have been in Chat at the time may have to make a judgement about what happened and whether to let you back in. The better you can state what happened without being emotional or upset, the easier it is to make a decision about unblocking you from Chat. * Don't make it personal. When you're in the middle of an argument or another heated situation, it's easy and tempting to make things personal. But when you do that and then you want to get it resolved, it makes it harder to determine if this was just a "heat of the moment" kind of thing or if you're doing it deliberately like a vandal or troll would do. * If someone leaves you a message, read it. This applies to chatmods and admins, as well as individual users. As you can see above, not listening to what a person is saying can cause problems. And erasing a message without saying why can be worse. You may not need to reply to it, but at least be courteous and read it first. * An apology may help. Even if you think you didn't do anything wrong, it might be better to apologize. That will help show you want to resolve things peacefully. If you decide that this is the right thing to do, wait a couple days first and keep it separate from a request to be unblocked from Chat. An immediate apology or one that is immediately followed by asking to be let back into Chat could be viewed as just saying you're sorry without really meaning it. * Try again. Since the first step is to ask the chatmod who issued the kickban to let you back in, you might not get an answer right away, or they may decide not to remove the block. If this happens, you are allowed to go to an admin and make the request there. See the "Appealing a kickban" section on the previous page for details. * Take a break. Sometimes it's a good idea to take a break from things for a while. If you haven't been having a good time in Chat recently (whether or not this you're kicked out of it), consider taking a break from it for a while. You might find you enjoy it more if you stay away from it for a few days or a week before you come back. * Know when to quit. If you've been kicked out of Chat several times, an admin is going to need to look into why if you keep having to ask to be let back in. They will need to determine if you were causing problems that got you kicked out or if it's one or more chatmods that's the cause. Or maybe it's both. But whatever the case, either taking a break from going into Chat or just giving up on it altogether might be a better decision for you. * Request a private chat. If you don't feel comfortable discussing what happened on the chatmod's or an admin's talk page, request to have a private chat with an admin. This would be done through either private messages in a third party wiki's Chat or by a private channel in the IRC. The admin will make arrangements to allow access into Chat to do this, coordinating a time when both people can be available. On the IRC, more than one admin can join the private channel, which can help in some cases to have more than one addition point of view. Heading back If you're ready to try asking to have the kickban removed, head back to the guidelines page. If you have additional questions or are not sure how to proceed, ask an admin. The current list of administrators is: Please do not send messages to more than one admin. You can either look at the or the "Last Edited" column in the to see which one has edited most recently. When you send the message, please be aware that even if they edited fairly close to when the kickban happened, they may not see your message right away. Please be patient and give them time to respond.